


Grow as We Go

by RedPhoneBooth



Category: Everybody's Talking About Jamie - Dan Gillespie Sells/Tom MacRae
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Future Fic, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Post-Canon, redemption arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22293448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPhoneBooth/pseuds/RedPhoneBooth
Summary: Set a few years into the future. Jamie is a successful drag queen and Dean pays him a visit at one of his shows to make amends. He ends up with so much more, though.
Relationships: Jamie New/Dean Paxton
Comments: 8
Kudos: 77





	Grow as We Go

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> This fandom seriously needs a lot more content and I am here to provide despite being a really inconsistent writer.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/TheWallinmyHead) and scream at me about musicals or other stuff. 
> 
> Title from Ben Platt's Grow as We Go.

He was in the middle of his act when Jamie noticed him. The boy who had tormented him al throughout secondary school was here at a gay bar during one of his shows. Jamie faltered just a little as Dean gave him a small, but genuine smile knowing Jamie had spotted him. Jamie shook himself slightly and went on with his act, the overthinking could wait until he was taking off his makeup backstage. Though after seeing Dean Jamie felt as if he was performing on autopilot. 

His act came to an end and Jamie accepted the applause and took a bow before disappearing backstage again. He walked to his dressing room and sunk down on the stool in front of his vanity mirror with a heavy sigh. Slowly, he started stripping off his costume, throwing his pads on a heap at his feet along with his shoes and peeling off the many layers of pantyhose. He stretched and flexed his feet and toes, adjusting to being out of his heels. Pulling on some comfortable joggers, Jamie turned to the mirror with his makeup wipes and remover. 

That was when a myriad of questions popped into his mind about why Dean could possibly be here. Jamie peeled off the fake lashes from his lids as he flashed back to the days when Dean would push him around and that one time Jamie had kissed him to scare him off. He was just about ready to spiral down into a black hole of bad memories.

“Hey.” It sounded from behind him. Jamie’s gaze shifted in the mirror to see Dean standing at the doorway. His hands were in his pockets and his shoulders were slightly hunched. Jamie stopped at the sight of him, his mouth slightly agape while his brain needed time to reboot.

“Hey.” Jamie echoed eventually. He didn’t take his eyes off of Dean’s reflection, unsure of what to expect and conscious of every tiny movement.

“Great show.”

“Thanks.” Jamie said, followed by a beat of silence.

“Jamie-” Dean started, taking a step forward. The sudden movement made Jamie jump up and turn to face Dean. Dean held up his hands. “Whoa, I’m not here to hurt you. I promise. I just wanna talk.”

Jamie’s tense shoulders relaxed only a little and leaned against the table behind him. He gave Dean a slight nod.

“How have you been?”

“Fine.” 

It was quiet for a moment before the both started talking at the same time. “Look, Dean-” “I just want to-” They not-quite-chuckled before Jamie eventually motioned for Dean to go first.

Dean took a deep breath. “I want to apologise.” Jamie was taken aback. “I have not been kind to you in the past and it’s something I deeply regret. I didn’t even understand myself what was wrong with me until about a year ago. My therapist nearly cried when I finally came to the realisation of why I was so horrible to you.” Jamie’s eyebrows shot up. “I know, I’ve got a therapist now. She’s great, though. Only took a few sessions for her to help me realise I’m gay.” Jamie’s eyebrows shot up even higher. Dean chuckled and let his gaze fall to the floor where he scuffed his shoe on the linoleum. “I know. Who’da thought. I guess in hindsight I should’ve seen it coming. Biggest homophobes are usually the ones who end up being gay themselves.” Dean shrugged and looked back up. “So, I just want to say I’m sorry for taking all my internalised shit out on you.”

The room went quiet again as Dean had finished talking and Jamie still didn’t know what to say. Dean took the silence as a quiet dismissal and nodded to Jamie before turning around.

“That was SO not what I was expecting at all!” Jamie exclaimed before he started laughing breathily. He sunk back down on the stool. “This is- I- Madness, absolute madness. Am I dreaming? Did I have too much tequila again? That always makes my dreams weird?” Jamie pinched himself. “Ow! Nope, definitely not dreaming.”

Dean started laughing at Jamie’s dramatics. “It’s real.”

“Oh my God, it’s real. Oh my GOD, Dean Paxton is GAY!? OH MY GOD! Was I your first gay kiss?!” Jamie gasped loudly.

Dean laughed at the unexpected question. “Uhm, yes? Well, no. Well, that one didn’t count! I didn’t know you were gonna kiss me.”

“Would you have wanted me to if you did know?” Jamie asked.

Dean froze for a moment as he blushed just a little. “I don’t know, I didn’t even know I was gay back then.”

“Yeah sure, but looking back now, what do you think?” Jamie crossed one leg over the other and leaned one elbow on the table behind him.

Dean avoided his gaze. “Uh- Yeah I guess, yes. I mean, you’re fit-”

Jamie smiled flirtingly at him. “Not too bad yourself.” Dean smiled.

“-And I guess there was a reason I picked on you so much. Besides you being loud and the easiest target. I guess I was jealous. If it was of you being so open or of your friends being close to you, I don’t know. But I was jealous and hurt and looking for a way to get your attention.” Dean shrugged.

“Well, you’ve definitely caught it now.” Jamie replied. Dean met his gaze and the two smiled at each other.

“Jamie, love!” Bagga barged into the room past Dean, still decked out in full drag, breaking the tension. “We’re closing up so Freddy is kicking us out.” She turned to walk back out, but not before giving Dean a once-over and turning back to Jamie. “Well, he’s fit, innit.” She said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Shut it, Bagga!” Jamie threw one of the fake boobs at her while she walked out cackling. “Come on,” Jamie said to Dean, “We probably really should get out of here before Freddy comes back here.” Jamie picked up all his stuff, he could remove the rest of his makeup at home. “Here, take this.” He handed a bag to Dean.

“Wait, where are we going?” Dean asked, confused.

“Well, I’ve got a lot of stuff I need to take back home, so you need to help me carry it.” Jamie jerked his head for Dean to come along with him out the pub and into a cab that drove them to Jamie’s flat.

The cab ride was quiet, Jamie was too tired after tonight to hold up a conversation right now. It seemed Dean wasn’t feeling pressured to start one either. So instead, Jamie closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window. Dean smiled at Jamie’s profile since he was still wearing half his makeup which looked kind of funny to be honest.

Soon enough they got to Jamie’s place. Jamie paid the driver and called out a ‘have a good night’ before pushing open the main door and getting in the lift. Jamie struggled with his bags as he rummaged through one of them looking for his keys. When he did, he quickly unlocked the door and pushed it open, only taking a few steps to his living room and dropping all his stuff on the floor next to the couch. Dean followed him, only he puts the bag he was holding down with much more care.

“I’ll go put the kettle on. Make yourself at home.” Jamie called as he walked toward the kitchen in his flat. 

Dean looked around the space. It was a cozy one bedroom flat that was overall pretty tidy. The only mess was the stuff they’d dropped next to the door. There was a lot of stuff however. Shelves were filled with foam heads holding wigs and two big metal racks were filled with hangers holding all sorts of extravagant outfits. A desk was pushed into the corner with framed pictures and a used tea cup or two. Dean took a closer look at the pictures. 

The first he noticed was one of Jamie and Pritti, it seemed they’d kept up the friendship even after all these years. They looked happy. The next was one of Jamie with his mum and aunt. Jamie was in full drag and towered over both women because of his heels. The third picture was faced down on the desk. Dean picked it up and noticed it was Jamie with another guy. They smiled at each other and Dean could tell it was a more intimate smile. 

“Oh, I must have forgotten to get rid of that one.” Jamie said over Dean’s shoulder. He put down the two steaming mugs of tea on the desk and plucked the frame out of Dean’s hand. For a moment he looked at it before putting it back face down on the desk. “Out of sight, out of mind.” Jamie said lowly.

“Boyfriend?” Dean asked.

“Ex-boyfriend.” Jamie corrected.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” 

Jamie merely shrugged in response. “Tea?” He offered instead.

Dean smiled and took the cup Jamie held up before following him to the couch. Dean took a seat, but Jamie sat down on the rug instead right at his coffee table with several products around him and a mirror. He started rubbing at his face with some cloth. 

Dean watched him and smiled for a moment over the rim of his mug. Quietly he shook his head to himself before setting his mug down on the table and sliding off the couch onto the floor next to Jamie. He took the wipe out of Jamie’s hand and was met with mild protest. Dean gave him a pointed look and softly clicked his tongue instead.

“You need to make circles and do it in sections.” Dean did he said to Jamie, taking his chin between his index and thumb and wiping circles of makeup off his cheek.

Jamie was surprised to say the least. This was not the boy he had known in high school. If Dean had looked any different than all those years ago, Jamie might not have even recognised him. There was a certain anger that wasn’t there anymore. Jamie didn’t know what to say, he just stared at Dean who was working diligently on his face.

“W-what?” Dean stuttered when he noticed Jamie’s stunned look.

“Who even are you anymore?” Jamie asked. He hoped it didn’t come out so accusing as it sounded. Dean laughed. “Sorry, I just mean, how do you know about this stuff.”

“I used to date a drag queen. He taught me a few tricks and more than not he made me help him get out of drag.” Dean shrugged. Jamie’s eyebrows flew into his hairline.

“Seriously, Dean Paxton, you are a whole different person.” Jamie said as he stared intently at Dean.

“I should hope so. It took me a lot of time and effort to figure myself out.” Dean was still rubbing the makeup off as silence fell around them. Jamie couldn’t look away, though. Entranced by this beautiful boy sitting in front of him, Jamie could only stare and see this familiar stranger whose icy heart had finally melted to reveal nothing but gold. “You’re staring.” Dean said, a hint of a smirk on his face. Shit, even that looked so different from back then. The snide it used to have was gone now. 

“Sorry, I just-” Jamie couldn’t find the words, instead he just shook his head slightly and threw his hands up before letting them drop on his knees with a clap. Dean met his gaze finally. 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” Dean turned Jamie’s face by the chin he was still holding to get the other side of his face and rid it of makeup.

“Wait” Jamie whispered. He pushed himself up slightly and turned to sit facing Dean. “Better?” Jamie asked. Dean nodded. 

It was quiet again. Dean could hear a few cars pass by occasionally. The ticking clock on the wall was the loudest thing in the room, except for when he switched out wipes and products. The crinkling sound of packaging and pop of bottle caps filled every nook and cranny of the flat then. Dean felt his palms get a little sweaty under the intent gaze of Jamie in front of him. Dean might have spent a little longer than he needed cleaning the skin of eyes just so Jamie couldn’t look at him. Hearing his own elevated heartbeat didn’t help him get himself under control either. He took a deep breath. 

“There, I’m done.” Dean whispered before throwing the cloth on the coffee table.

“Thanks.” Jamie breathed. “Why are we whispering, though?”

Dean laughed through his nose briefly. “Not sure. Everything suddenly felt a little too… fragile to speak.” Dean looked Jamie square in the eye and noticed him switching between Dean’s eyes.

“Dean, I-” Jamie’s gaze dipped down a little all of the sudden, making Dean lick his lips instinctively and lower his eyes too.

Jamie leaned in a little and Dean followed his lead. Their noses brushed as both took one last look at the other before brushing their lips together in a tentative kiss at first. The second one, though, that created the spark between. Jamie leaned in further to truly press his lips against Dean’s. It was all Jamie needed to cup Dean’s face in his hands and shift to sit on his knees to hover over him a little. He felt Dean place a hand on his hip, right at the hem of his shirt. Two sneaky fingers even found their way underneath to touch his skin. 

Their kisses got more heated, yet they were slow and deep. Dean’s hand that he’d put behind him to steady himself slowly gave way and Jamie followed his mouth as reclined back to lay on the ground. Jamie put a hand up next to Dean’s head instead to keep himself held up while Dean used his now free hand to join Jamie’s waist. As he lost himself in the moment, Dean took a calculated risk and slipped his hand under Jamie’s t-shirt to stroke the smooth skin of his back. Jamie gasped. Their kiss broke.

“I’m sorry, was that too much?” Dean stopped his movements.

“No, no.” Jamie chuckled. “Just took me by surprise.” 

“Oh, sorry.” Dean said, retrieving his hand from under the shirt.

“I didn’t say you should stop.” Jamie smiled before leaning down again to kiss Dean. He picked up Dean’s hand and placed it back under his shirt. Dean didn’t waste time feeling the skin on his hands and basking in its warmth.

Dean could feel Jamie shift above him to straddle his legs properly. He felt Jamie’s hands in his hair, on his cheeks, on his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. 

“Wait.” Dean pulled away. Jamie sat up a little perplexed. “Too fast.” Dean felt a little out of breath. He pulled himself upright too and leaned back on one of his hands. “I like you, Jamie.”

“Likewise.”

“I don’t wanna waste whatever this is or could be. You’re too good to waste on just one night.”

“Oh.” Jamie was a little more than just perplexed.

“If that’s not what you want, that’s fine, but then I’d rather leave before I break my own heart.” Dean’s voice got smaller with every baring word.

Jamie grabbed him by the neck and kissed him hard. “I would love to find out what this could be. I guess I’m just not used to more than one night, or just more in general.” Dean frowned at that. Jamie ran his finger over his downturned eyebrows. “Comes with the job. People get a kick out of it. Your drag queen ex never told you this?”

“Well, it seemed he got a kick out of people wanting him. It was never really a problem for him.” Dean spit out the words acidically. The bitter memories of other men staining his sheets behind his back came back in full force.

“Fuck, what an asshole.” 

Seeing Jamie get so worked up about it made Dean smile again. It felt comforting somehow.

“They all are, the lot of them. You deserve more, Jamie. Better.” The kiss Jamie gave him felt heavy on his tongue. 

Jamie stood up then and put out his hand. “Come on. Let’s go to bed. No funny business.”

“Oh that’s okay, I can call-” Dean started to protest, but Jamie cut him off by clicking his tongue.

“Dean middle name Paxton,” Dean laughed at that. “I am not sending you home at this hour. You are not taking the couch, you chivalrous arse,” How did Jamie know? “And you are calling in sick tomorrow because we are going out. Properly.”

“Actually, it’s my day off tomorrow.” 

Jamie’s smile widened and his eyes softened. “Perfect.” He shook his outstretched hand around. “Now come on. Off the floor and follow me.”

Dean clasped it and let himself be pulled up until he stood nose to nose with Jamie whose beaming face lit up the room in the pitch black night. Jamie squeezed his hand before walking further into the flat towards the bedroom and tugging Dean along with him. 

Dean borrowed some pajama’s which were admittedly a little too tight, but he didn’t mind as he climbed under the covers with Jamie. They laid face to face taking each other in. Dean scooted a little closer and kissed Jamie sweetly. 

“Goodnight, Jamie.”

“Goodnight, Dean.” 

Jamie found Dean’s hand under the covers and loosely tangled their fingers together before they both drifted off to a peaceful sleep.


End file.
